Today, my inner geek is going to take a moment of pause. It’s one of those rare days to just stop and contemplate, lose myself in thought… and to observe that source from where I draw my strength. I have heard people say that someday this day will be like any other. And although this day is certainly different each year, it will never be a day like any other. It will always at the very least be the day I can honour he who gives me strength and purpose when I cannot find it myself.
There are few people that have come through my life that I truly admire and try to emulate. Plenty that I have respect for, certainly, but the ones I’m in awe of, the ones who challenge me to continuously strive to be more than I am today, they are few. He is by far the one I admire most. I was asked recently if there’s one person in the world I could meet, dead or alive, who would that be? I’d want to meet him again, only now as an adult, now as someone who appreciates just how much life he brought with him, and how many people besides myself admire him too.
I remember the first time I looked at his picture and didn’t feel sad and lost. The smile in the picture felt like a real smile out at me. Like I was picking my way slowly along the right path. I used to think that path was to fill the gap he’d left behind, to live up to the person he had been. I remember the day I knew I couldn’t do that, that I didn’t want to do that. That day, his smile got bigger, and I grew stronger.
Today is not a sad day, not like it used to be. Today is simply a reflective day. Today is a day to thank him for the contribution he’s made to who I am. And tomorrow, I’ll keep moving on.
Outing My Inner Geek by Wendy Peters 